Monday, September 27, 2010

What’s cooking at La Habitat : Sep 2010 Chapter

Diseases that have little cure
By Anonymous

At La Habitat, we have found many diseases out of which many have cure while some have little hope. Here they are.

Parkingsons: This is rare and unique to La Habitat. It is a degenerative disorder of the central parking system that often impairs the sufferer's driving and parking skills. The disease is caused by a special virus that gets infected into the body from the Parking allotment. Almost all the residents are suffering from this. While a few have upper level Parkingson others have basement Parkingson both of which are dangerous in nature but not life threatening. B2B Parkingson and Narrow Body Parkingson are contradictory to each other. The former have too much in bounty while the later searches for blood vessels to squeeze out their carrier. Common symptom to this disease is anger and frustration. Please consult the Facility Management Doctors for treatment.

Facilityrial Menengitis : This is mainly caused by slow opening of Facilities at Lahabitat. Bacterials infections like Gym, Sproom, Splash, Libry form major part of this disease. This is mainly found in those people who have come to La Habitat for a better living and found all the Facilities locked. Gradually the Menengitis is disappearing but the Symptoms still remain. The TreadMill bacterium has bitten the area again and residents are requested to stay away from this for a short period. This disease has no cure. It disappears slowly and steadily.

Chronic Absence Syndrome: This is common to those who wants all facilities but doesn’t move out of their drawing room for any common meetings. Symptoms include criticism, leveling charges, betterment suggestions etc. Dr. Edmund Burke, a financial analyst with no medical connection once said ‘There is a boundary to men's passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination. This disease is cured by big anti-biotic bangs and personal counseling.

Dogtospirosis : This disease is related to dogs. When human thinks of banging stray or domestic dogs roaming around outside the dog owner’s jurisdiction, this disease gets activated immediately. The infection is commonly transmitted to humans by allowing debates on dogs and the membranes starts pumping blood to brain causing huge disappointment of having left the chance to bang the dog. This disease catches even animal lovers. The best way to avoid is to keep dogs at home and not to leave it in the open.

Pelvic inflammatory disease: This is rare and is limited to those who gets their heels inflamed at around 9.30 PM. The main symptom is to come out of the home and sit on any wooden bench and cool their heels. They stick to this routine for an hour and then takes a walk around the building finding out fault with the watchmen. Symptoms include laughing, scolding, cleaning premises, complaining, taking fights with residents for common cause etc.

More surprises to come. Wait for more “What’s cooking at La Habitat?” series in future.

4 comments:

Rakesh Bhattacharjee said...

Outstanding ! Mind Blowing ! !!!!!

I would like to thank & Laugh Loudly in appreciation of the Doctor / Scientist, who is skilled with a good Diagnosis power & humour . Am looking forward for a Doctor, who would cure these chronic illness, as 'am also prone to one of these disease.

Sidharth Garg said...

Really LOL

Dhavan Desai said...

Hey good one , keep on sending .

Sheila Verma said...

Amazing creativity!! Had a real good laugh!! Thank you moderators for the welcoming change in the style of mails..